So there’s this post on Facebook getting viral about a woman asking for advice about her engagement ring. She said she wasn’t happy with the engagement ring her boyfriend of 8 years gave her because it only cost Php 299 (around USD 5.39). She felt that the guy didn’t value her as much since he didn’t get her an expensive engagement ring. And she’s asking if it was right for her to feel that way.
A lot of opinions have been posted all over social media and, well, let’s say I’m jumping on the bandwagon, LOL!
But on a serious note, here’s my two cents:
First of all, I will say that the woman’s feelings are VALID. Because there must have been something that triggered that feeling.
Each of us has different experiences when it comes to relationships, engagement, and marriage.
I, for one, wasn’t given the whole shebang for an engagement. It was just me and my now-husband, and a simple ring that didn’t cost event a thousand bucks back then. He gave it to me on our 6th year as boyfriend-girlfriend.
Did I get upset because it wasn’t a diamond-studded 18k gold ring? Or that there were no balloons or fireworks?
The answer is NO, I was not upset.
Hubby actually had a plan back then to surprise me but something came up and we didn’t have that grand engagement announcement or whatever.
But I was not upset.
Why? Because for one, we have discussed about settling down before he gave me a ring.
Second, we were open about our financial capabilities at that time. We were both employees — co-workers even — and he applied in another company so that there’s no accusations of nepotism or something like that. And he also looked for greener pastures then (to be honest).
Third, he never made me feel insecure of his love. Whether the ring was cheap or expensive didn’t matter to me personally because I knew that he loved me wholeheartedly (yes, me before the Gundams and consoles, LOL but yes).
I remember one of my cousins who came over our house and congratulated me once he knew of my engagement. He asked where the ring was, and I showed it to him while saying, “It’s not that expensive.”
“But he gave you a ring,” he told me. And I fully understood what he meant.
Then again, my story may not apply to the woman who ranted about her Php 299 engagement ring. I can’t be sure because she didn’t really go into much details, but I get the feeling that she was not secure in the relationship.
The guy may have his reasons on why he gave her that engagement ring. So many things can come to mind, can be good or not-so-good.
And that’s why I said that what she felt that moment was valid.
In her post, she asked whether to ignore the feeling or confront the boyfriend. I think this one’s a no-brainer.
Because if she can’t tell the guy how she feels while they’re in this stage, what more when they’re already married?
This will always be at the back of her mind and this might trigger another set of emotions.
In this aspect, I would say she should tell him how she feels about it and discuss it early on, while they’re not married yet.
In every relationship, COMMUNICATION is key. And even if someone gets hurt or offended at that moment, at least it’s out in the open. Better than keep it inside and just explode one day, you know what I mean? If they overcome this issue, then they’ll understand each other more and be able to deal with more dire situations.
Of course, the best advice would be: don’t get engaged when you know you’re not ready for the next stage of your lives, because marriage and family life is no child’s play.
Again, this is just my opinion, based on my own experience. We all have different views and sets of values. The key is staying true to what you value in life.
